The Secret Club

flash mob

2005-05-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

flash mobbing rocks lah oi!
secret club and club wannabes... flash mob ah!

emperoring

2005-01-20T10:44:00.000-08:00

Emperor Secret finally speaks

I , Emperor Secret , banisher of all mothergeese , punisher of all non-secretive people and warrior extraordinare finally speaks up my mind . I have been banished from my kingdom eversince Ivan took over our fotress last week and now I work at Expo Robinson's Sale , selling cheap used underwear . The brands , of course , are secret . The I.S.O. is still at large , but finally we have learnt Ivan's true identity . He shall be eradicated and his non secretive ways shall be put to extinction . That my secret friends and slaves , is a promise ...

THE BIG S

2005-01-19T18:14:00.000-08:00

The Big S will determine who Ivan really is!

Alberto Einstein has figure out what the Big S is and what it stands for.

The Big S = Syed!

Syed is Ivan indeed! He is known as the Mothergoose. He resides in the dungeon where Maksim used to play his piano with Beethoven's Masterpieces during the War of the Ring and the Battle on Endor.

We shall seek out and interrogate this Mother.

Here is a picture of him:

He trains in the Secrets of the Black Arts and has utilized them well. Tracking him wont be a problem but capturing him will be! For he will enchant those who oppose him with his arsenal of fairy tales. The Minister of Defense, General Muhammad Ali Boxer will have his hands full with this one.

More on this later!

No Ivan

2005-01-19T18:04:00.000-08:00

I am back once again to bring you a special update on the Secret Club. Agent Jewish Rubbish lost his way during a jungle trekking event in a forest near Kenya. Ivan probably dispatched an army of wild boars to get the crazy man. He is now MIA. More news on that later.

Since the last update, the Secret Club has been very busy indeed. Emperor Secret has found a side job and Agent Scott has gone back to school. I however, the Knight of Secrecy, am now free as a bird. However, momentarily. As I must confront with the Big O in March. Yes.

The Big O is the one thing that all of us fear. The Big O is simply the abbreviation of Oman which is Ivan's name in Malay. O is also the the third letter in ISO. But there are also the Big I which means Ivan and also the Big S which we are unable to found out what it represents. I must consult with Professor Alberto Einstein with this matter.

Til then.

- Secret

I AM BACK!!!!

2004-10-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

I am back! Returning from my long absence to a trip to Mount Eversecret, in Nepal, Tibet where the Power Metal Princess dwells.

During my adventures there, I've discovered numerous of things that has got to do with the ISO. I brought a laptop, with a Napoleon internet service provider called the Super dunno what Internet Service.

First of all, WINRAR is now part of the ISO's crazy scheme as we see here in the screen capture below. Indeed, falling into an ISO trap, is inevitable, if you were to 'check' the box next to the 'ISO'. So I urge, every member who has WINRAR or is going to install WINRAR to not support ISO!

Next, we have found a picture which is to be suspected as Ivan himself. Be on the lookout for any person who looks like him (picture below). He can be find dwelling near the DNT workshop areas in Pasir Ris Secondary School. One of the ISO's top secret hideouts which isn't much of a secret anymore thanks to yo' bitch ass capn' nigga from the eaz side me muhself. yo.

Next, we have uncovered a teddy bear, with a swastika on its belly.

This was found near orchard road's 7-11. Secret ah. This is suspected to be the mark of Rocketboy himself! An ISO exile warrior from the North.

Next, is a picture of a showdown involving ISO members. Holy shit will you look at that! 35 ISO members uncovered! You can also spot Agent Vegetable in the pit. "Where's Agent Vegetable?" a rip off of "Where's Waldo?", is going to be the most played game by our members in our club.

And finally, probably the most dumbest ISO member ever. Look at those tattoos! What the hell are those? Keep a lookout fellow members. This guy is super dangerous!

That is all for my entry. Any queries please call my new no. at 9-6secret-1.

Plod + Nobita = Plodbita

2004-10-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

attention, i just found out a new secret which is not going to be a secret anymore.......here it is: Urban traceur Plod aka azhar from the East Side of Singapore...is Indeed, Nobita from the cartoon show Doraemon.More proove will be provided when further investigation is carried out..However,physical feature of Nobita and Plod himself is undenyable.He ISS a cartoon character.

ISO ON THE LOOSE

2004-09-13T04:14:00.000-07:00

I HAVE A VERY SHOCKING NEWS FOR ALL THE SECRET CLUB MEMBERS.IT SEEMS DAT ISO HAS BEEN TRYING TO INFLUENCE STUDENTS FROM SP(Secret Polytechnic) .THIS IS WHAT I FOUND

Ivan has been giving false information and influencing others to join his empire.
No wonder many of my not so secret friends ignore me.They have been polluted!
IVAN MUST BE STOP!

Secret Vehicles of the SECRET WAR

2004-09-12T21:32:00.000-07:00

We've uncovered secret mobiles!

The ISO plans to use this wheels of steel to rear buffalo manure. But in fact, these droppings are nuclear weapons also known as 'Weapons of Mass Destruction'. They can kill! We've however have stolen these vehicles of mayhem and is now underground in the Secret Batcave of the INcedible Hulk. <-- Secret ah.

We've also uncovered some of our photos secretly taken by the Secret police. Fortunately, we are still secret as secret as a secret mongoose.

This is Agent Scott Hiimfriendly with the AP-43 Choo choo. The vehicle can see, taste, smell and also lick. It has big big eyes like giant lantern dragons. One of the most Hi Tech vehicles of the ISO.

This is me and Agent Jew Rubbish. We've stolen the 2036 Willy Jeep. Very cool and classy and very fast. The steering wheel is damn small which makes it unique and out of this world.

and now.. BEHOLD! THE MOST PRICED POSSESSION EVER STOLEN FROM THE ISO!

The 600 SNOOPY Mobile. There is always a dog atop the vehicle.

SNOOPY was the first vehicle ever made and was the vehicle frequently used by Ivan himself!

We believe that the word SNOOPY.. here..

is a secret code which hides all information of the ISO. We will have this confirmed by Local Scientist, again.. Alberto Einstein.

very interesting secret story

2004-09-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, a boy named Paul wanted an adventure, so he set off to explore the world. After a couple of weeks, he saw a large building. He went and knocked on the door, and a monk opened it.
"Hello" said the monk.
"Hello," said Paul, "I'm Paul"
"Do come in Paul, our Monastery is your Monastery. Anything you want, just ask. We are about to have dinner,won't you join
us?"
"I'd love to" said Paul.
After dinner, the monk showed him to his room, and Paul slept. The next morning, Paul awoke feeling very fresh.
The Monk said "If u want anything at all, please just ask".
"OK, I will have a think about that" said Paul.
"Really," said the monk, "It would be a pleasure for us to supply you with anything that your heart desires".
Paul spent the next few days thinking about it.
"Can you really supply me with anything I desire?" asked Paul.
"Anything at all, you name it, and we will get it for you."
"OK, if you are sure," Said Paul, "I would love a hair-dryer, a Macintosh, 7 candles, a sheep, some butter, a pair of old newspapers, and a goat"
"And please," said Paul, "A white sheep, not a black one, if that is OK?"
"A white sheep? OK, No problem, but it might take a little time"
The next 8 days went by. On the ninth day, the Monk went up to Paul, and said "Well,it was hard work, but we have got you a
hair-dryer, a Macintosh, 7 candles,a white sheep, some butter, a pair of old newspapers, and a goat, they are all in your room."
"That is GREAT" said Paul, "I will go and check them all now."
An hour later, he found the monk, and said "I am sorry to trouble you,but the hairdryer doesn't have a 'cold-air' option, is it possible to change it?"
"Of course it is" said the monk, .
The next day, Paul found a new hair- dryer outside his door, with a cold option. He was ecstatic. The Monks didn't see much
of Paul for the next few weeks, but they heard some very odd noises from his room. After a month or so, Paul announced to the Monk that he was going home.
"OK, well thank you for visiting us." Said the Monk.
"I shall miss you all, you have been so kind to me, supplying everything that I desire, how can I ever repay you?" Paul asked the Monk.
"Well, there is one thing" said the Monk, "I would love to know why you wanted a hair-dryer (hot and cold air), a Macintosh,
7 candles, a white sheep, some butter, a pair of old newspapers, and a goat?"
"Oh, That's a secret" said Paul. The monk looked up in anticipation. "Its a very precious secret you know,"said Paul. "Can you keep a secret?"
"Yes I can keep a secret." said the monk excitedly. And so Paul told the monk his secret and the monk kept it a secret.
And since then it was a secret and none of us would know about it. Thanks for reading the story.

Ivans Assasin

2004-09-09T01:18:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of one of ISO top serial killer...he appears to be a ninja...so secret club boys..just take note of this guy...from the secret information dat i gathered..i found out dat he is from Bosnia,a land far far away from rivendale(?? its a secret)..and his codename is O'Darling.
Due to recent discoveries,secret club members also found out his trademark .He will freeze his victim to death and wrapped the victims face with a black tshirt .To add a little twist,a shell cap is put on the victim .(as we all know,this is a sign of threat to Shell King)

This is the picture taken while i was on a conquest to buy KFC value meal.Colonel Sanders Kentucky got freezed by the evil O'Darling.He Freeze in peace now (2000-2004).He was only 4 years old.We shall hunt O'Darling and freeze his penis one fine day.Dat ,i promise.

Latest News: New Female Member ,Agent Raskal Stinks.Hope she will do her best.She can be used as a seductive turtle slaughter to hunt down enemy targets.Sieg Heil Brother Bear.

Einstein's Discovery

2004-09-08T22:49:00.000-07:00

Yes yes. Einstein, as you can see in the tag board to your left has discovered General Heryadi's true name. It is infact Yani, Heryani.

In other news, we are recruiting.. only for those who are worthy!

CONFIRMED!

2004-09-08T21:21:00.000-07:00

It is confirmed!

General Heryadi is indeed a female in disguise!

A fellow warrior of the ISO caught eye of General Heryadi's strange and bitchy behaviour and sent the news to us. Over 600,000 warriors have now left the ISO after this news was secretly passed around.

VICTORY!

Secret Revealed!

2004-09-08T01:16:00.000-07:00

It was a fine morning. Whilst everybody else were still soundly asleep dreaming of naked women sleeping with fuzzy animals, I was busy hacking into one of the General's databases. General Heryadi is his name. You see, I've uncovered a secret that even the leader of the Ivan's Secret Organisation, Sir Ivan, of course, himself is unaware of this secretive secrets of secrets.

General Heryadi is known as a brutal, maniacal and colour-blind general who spearheaded the attack of Mount Rushmore. He is the agent, who was responsible for the victory of the ISO. The Secret Club lost the war as a result of the absence of the 4 leaders. Emperor has gone fishing, Iamfriendly was busy practicing Chop Choy Kung Fu and Parkour-ing with a fellow russian Jedi Knight, Obi-Wan Slanobiski and Robinson Crusoe. I was watching Shrek 2 at that time. The Jewish Leader has gone back to his homeland of Israel to free Iraq.

Therefore, it was one tragic lost.

However, this secret may be the turning point of this war. After weeks of turmoil and losses.. I have finally found the solution that can bring the ISO down!

General Heryadi is in fact.. a woman! Yes, A WOMAN! A female shagdelic bitch.

Here is a picture of General Heryadi. (It was his first time)

After hacking the database, I've extracted a picture of him in a sailor moon outfit here:

However, this is not yet confirmed as we are in need of Local Scientist Alberto Einstein. I will get back to this news as soon as possible!

2004-08-21T07:59:00.000-07:00

x = "If I only could I would
Change everything
Today is the day, the moment of reckoning
For too long I've been hiding this truth within my chest
Today is the day when I will come clean
Answer for my deeds and stand up for my faint-heartedness
If I only could I would change everything
Let the suffering be mine and only mine for this time
In your time of need I betrayed you
When I should have watched over you I walked away
Now there are two straying souls weak in faith
In your time of need I left you
When I should have been strong I turned my back on you
Now there are two straying souls about to break
When there now are two of us alone
There's not anymore anyone alone
Today is the day when I will face you at length
You my child have wept enough far too long swallowed your hate
Today is the day when I will promise to myself
Take care from you I've been running away and with for so many years
If I only could I would change everything
Let the suffering be mine and only mine for this time "
x= variable
y= UNKNOWN
m=Quite Secret
c=unreactive to the surroundings
Therefore,applying the formula y =mx + c,i substitute everything inside...
work it out using the secret calculator...
Solution: y=Allen Chi Kay Peh....hmm who kia?shall investigate more.
...if u guys have any secrets that u 1 ask to solve,do tag us or email us..

hah some secret stuff....anyway,I JUST GOT A MESSAGE FROM SECRET SQUIRREL And MOROCCO MOLE..they wish us the best of luck in our upcoming war against the stinking pig armpit hair ivan and his "secret empire" ..hah so much for a loser..we shall see who will stand on top of all!

Ps:My true secret brothers.
Agent Gadget Boy has assigned us to collect weapons of Mass Destruction at NTUC FAIRPRICE Bedok.There will be tutorials and practicals and it will be guided by Agent Morocco Mole.Please do come.Attendance is compulsory.
Tip:please apply the secret formula y=mx + c to find all solutions during practical.

Im really up for this war.I shall fight will all my might.and shall give them no mercy.For I am Agent Scott HiImFriendly,i shall live up my supremacy.and dat is..to kooh all the way.Even if i fall,i shall never let out any secrets.Secrets flow in my blood,only the river of genghis kon secret river of the valley of the dwarf can uncover all my secrets.

Breaking the Silence

2004-08-20T23:47:00.000-07:00

Right. After days, weeks, years of silence after series of meetings.. of course secret meetings, I would want to break the silence by publishing some news on the ongoing war against 'The Secret Enterprise' of General Ivan.

---
On going war..
Source: Yahoo.com
by Alexander Geicht Schimdt

The death toll has been catastrophic. Many secret soldiers have died for their cause. Reports have said that the Secret club has sent black African soldiers dressed in black hooded robes with swords darker than their skin tones, to the lands of the enterprise.

Many have perished indeed. The 406th Secret Tank division of the Secret Club has advanced through the secret ridge of Secret Ridge. A few Jedi Knights were also reportedly seen battling against a Sith Lord of the Secret Enterprise. The bout was definitely brutal and evil resulting to one of the Jedi Knights to be sodomised by a lightsaber.

Barrages have plundered the Fortress of the Secret Club. The enraged Emperor, made the following comments..

"KILL THE BASTARDS!!"

And so he did killed some bastards with some flying Sea Gulls of Never Never Land. But thats not all, The Secret Enterprise sent some Troopers known as The Dragonforce, armed with PSG-1 Sniper Rifles to the city of Secretyolikous, where the Knight is ever watchful. They were later slained. The Knight of Secrecy kept one DF Trooper alive. There are of course many DF Troopers around. You can easily distinguish them.

They are equipped with the most ridiculous wear I have ever seen.

- Tapered pants. Sometimes 3/4.
- Blonde Helmets. (made them look like blonde hair but actually they are not)
- White sandals.
- Pink pale shirts.

The equipments listed are the rudiments of a DF Trooper. Of course there are other highly dangerous accessories like silver rings and silver earrings. Some even have tattoos.. mostly dragon tattoos as to signify their loyalty to the Dragonforce Trooper Regiments. They are usually in group of 3s or 5s. They are regard as highly dangerous.

They will take action if..

- you stare at them
- laugh at them
- confront them

They are also considered extremely dumb by the Knight of Secrecy.

Agent Scott Hiimfriendly (real name) has dispatched spies to the Great Castle of the Enterprise.

King Ivan has sent Star Destroyers to the Secret Club Post Office.

For more latest news, please visit www.thesecretwar.com

- Alex.
---

---
www.secretdeathtolls.com

DEATH TOLL

Secret Enterprise
Black - 687,000,000
White - 333,221
Brown - 12
Yellow - 123,221,999

Ships
Star Destroyers - 0
Destroyers - 17
Rat-6 Aircraft - 88
Ff1 Attack Swift Bird of Doom - 99

Tanks
Ghost-1 - 24
Stealth Attack - 233
Light Hayabusa Tank - 1,011
Heavy Metal Panzer - 23

Special Forces:
Sithlords - 1
DF Troopers - 65

Secret Club
Black - N/A
White - 123,777,000
Brown - 0
Yellow - N/A

Ships
Star Destroyers - 12
Battleships - 80
Tsf-1 Aircrafts - 15
SC-666 Jets - 0

Tanks
Dh-2000 Sherman - 125
Little Boy Jap Tank - 200
Fat Bastard Supreme - 1

Special Forces
Jedi Knights - 2
Spies - 0
---

Olympic Supremacy Secrets Bathtub Of The Next Senseri

2004-08-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

haha...nice secret song ,wonder-secret boy...it shows u really have passion on secrets...today is sunday rite,dats not a secret anymore but it can be still called a secret.it's just dat everybody knows dat secret and dat secret is today is Sunday.its just like y = mx + c u noe....secret formula to find out secrets...where y is the person dat has the secret..x is just a variable,it can be substituted with anything eg.elephant ,panda,shapenersaur etc,m is how secret or not secret the secret is and c is how the secret reacts with the surroundings...yah anyway. i just got back from russia today,i got olympic game uh..played tennis,got Gold...so secretly happy man..tomorrow i'll be going to china for another olympic game,this time im going challenge with all the manjens there to a game called bungee jumping...the person dat can jump the highest is the winner..of kos ah im going to win,cos im veryyy secret u noeeeee *seductive smile with the word Secret* i just got a report that 2 of the secret club boys met up yesterday.he wanted the secret guy to charge his camera..i wont tell u all who..its a secret...ok ah i haf to get ready ,later gonna take some secret firework pics...and i hope i get this done rite...yebah~ Koooh kiaaaaa

The Secret Song

2004-08-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

Secret is our name
Secret is our game
If we tell you our secret
Then not secret anymore

Secret is my name
Secret is my game
If I tell you my secret
Then it is not secret anymore

Chorus:
Secret secret is so kooh
Secret secret school
Secret secret powerfull
Secret is our club

Secret is my job
Secret is my hairstyle
Secret is my pants
Secret is my lifestyle

Secret is my number
Secret is my email
Secret is my mother
Secret is her name

[Chorus]

Ivan revealed.

2004-08-13T19:53:00.000-07:00

Wah piang ley. Yesterday I met up with the Emperor at the big secret bus interchange. He agh want to pass his secret stuffs to me ah. Then ah in the end the stuff didn't work so we secretly scrapped away the secret. I secretly saw Ivan and his secret club. Wah not secret anymore.

I've managed to take a snapshot of one of his henchmen. Here it is:

Eh I have a question

2004-08-11T07:12:00.000-07:00

EH wheres that secret Jewish guy? Still at school ah? Haven't come back? Aiyohyoh. Must be working on his secret project to eliminate the remnants of the Secret Communist of Republic China.

In other news.. Secret is still good. Still secret.

Most tiring day for a Knight

2004-08-11T03:40:00.000-07:00

Wah piang. I just got home from school. You know that secret school. You want to know ah? Cannot lah sia. How can one? Got so many secret homeworks. HaiZz.

Maxim Secret Revealed

2004-08-11T03:01:00.000-07:00

And so , I have found out from some sources like Mothergoose inc that Maxim , the piano player , learnt how to play the keys when he was trapped in a dungeon . It was a dark stormy night . And the Dragon Of Calbee had escaped its lair . And so Maxim was forced to hide in a dark dungeon with only a piano , a discman and Beethoven's pieces . There , he learnt how to survive by playing the piano for music is food to the musician . According to the sources , Maxim emerged one night with the gift of speed fingers and slayed the monster by tickling it with the Tongan Death Tickle Of Doom . So thus , the Dragon Of Calbee was no more . This is a true story . Believe it .

I am secretly pissed off

2004-08-10T08:31:00.000-07:00

today is the most secretive day in my life uh....i wont tell anyone why..cos its a secret u noe..anyway i took 3 days doing dat secret stuff...and when i wanted to see the results,it was such a big secret..i cant tell u all! cos its a secret...im so secretly pissed off today..i donno whose fault izzit..izzit that secret thing or izzit just me or izzit the secret man dat did dat secret thing..i sad kia...what a secret experience...

Inspirations

2004-08-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

My top two secret inspirations:

Secret Squirrel and Morocco Mole.

The Secret Era

2004-08-10T06:26:00.000-07:00

A new era has begun.

For I have to study for my S(Secret) Level Examinations. Cheebai stress ya noe. Lyk wad sey.

A new beginning

2004-08-10T01:49:00.000-07:00

For I was revived in this world of secrecy. My name has been changed and I am bestowed from the Almighty and granted the rank of Knight.

As the Knight of Secrecy I shall abide to the Emperor's words.

His name shalt remain secret forever. For if his name is spoketh among the woods of the outer world, thy shalt draw thy Sword of Secrecy upon thee. Let this be a word of warning. For the blade of my sword shalt not be hindered. For I have no fear. The Light of Secrecy shines upon the Warriors of Secrecy. The Emperor is the light. Hail the Emperor HAIL!

The Code of Secrecy.. is secret. If it is revealed by exiles or outcasts and followed by the people of the outer world.. then it is my duty to slaughter with no remorse nor compassion.

For you hath been warneth.

Together, my bretherens of Secrecy, we shalt rule this secret Universe.

My first secret post.

2004-08-10T01:40:00.000-07:00

This is my first ever secret post to this secret site. I don't know you. You don't know me. But I have been chosen by the almighty Emperor. I AM HERE FOR A REASON. THE REASON IS ALSO SECRET!

Secret 1

2004-08-10T01:04:00.000-07:00

hie kia...this is my 1st secret post..i think we koool kia...got this got that we koool kia...We people believe in SECRECY...i believe theres no other better policy than secrecy...WE THE SECRET CLUB SHALL MAKE THE 1st SECRET REVOLUTION....yeah....and to all those non-secret members..SECRET U ALL!SECRET UR MOMMA!SECRET UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT ITS ALL A SECRET!!!!

Welcome

2004-08-10T00:54:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the secret club . If you are a member , do not reveal yourself . We take the practice of secrecy very seriously and hope you do the same . Fellow readers , please be acknowledged that the stories we tell you are true . Thank you .